Realization

Everyone is judgmental. The judgements just have to be sound.

I am increasingly realizing that i am actually very judgmental. I used to openly and secretly-even-more-so love judgmental people, because I would find a lot of them with very sound judgements. For that reason I am ecstatic about this growing judgmentalism in me; I love my judgements. They are so helpful, and I feel snarky. I think a lot of my judgements are sound, and if not, I am learning — so much better than not being able to generate judgements, which I think was my problem growing up. I would just feel emotions:

• wow why is she so horrible to me, I feel terrible.
  *subconsciously overcompensates by being too nice and shudders in terror every interaction*

and not necessarily lead it into a fully formed judgement

• wow she is so horrible to me; rather than feeling terrible interacting with her, Ill avoid engaging with her as much as I can

I learned about three default negative emotions human can have.

• Mbti is a behavior test. While everyone has congruence between behavior and mind, and while understanding and categorizing behaviors may be beneficial in predicting behaviors and somewhat mind. Not everyone has behaviors that exemplify their mind. At least I dont.
• Mbti, enneagram, mayo clinic, so be it. I read these things and feel resonance like crazy and I know im not the only one. If there is even one or two persons that can relate: feel seen and understood, its worth it.